‘See you in court, mom’: Mother demands daughter give her money she got from child support, daughter refuses, leading to mother taking legal actions

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    AITA for not want to pay back the money from child support?
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    I (22F) am the child of the child support. Most mother refused to drop the charges on my dad so he still has to pay. This past February, my mom received a $6k check from child support and told me (I was out the state
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    at the time). When she shared the news, I was a bit skeptical to accept the check. Last time we received the check from CSS, my mom had to pay it back because it came from a joint account from my dad. She told
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    this time it's from my dad's refunds and that it's safer. She put the money in my account (because she forced me to get a joint account with her) and told me to use it however I want since its mine. Then she goes
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    back and say that what if the strings are attached to this one and end up owing again. She gave me mixed signals but eventually I did use it because I was actually 3 weeks away from moving and didn't know how I
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    was going to go from Florida to Maryland with only less than 1k when I still had to pay the prorated month. That check. made the moving process easy and I paid a big amount off my credit card with money left over.
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    Now, without my consent, my mother has also been using my money. Before the check, I noticed that the checks I get from work are always lower than expected until I found she's been using my fundings
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    for herself to buy food, Uber and so forth. She makes 3x the amount I make and has a car so I was confused. Fast forward to last night, and I wasn't surprised. Child support
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    demanded the money to be returned as apparently my dad does not owe anymore. My mom berated me over the money without explaining anything saying how I "wasted the money" and "it's my fault because I called CPS and I have
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    to pay!" No, I didn't call and when I did call about Child support, I am not a 3rd party on my OWN case, so I have no say. I told her I legally cannot do anything about it and to call to see what's up. She refused, claiming I was influenced and
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    did this to myself. I told her if I pay, she too has to pay but she refused again because her defense is she sent me money in the past and for that, we're even. I told I won't pay because she swore up and down that it's not really MY MONEY, it's HER
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    MONEY because my father had back loans to pay to HER not me. I used that and she said but I AM the one responsible to pay child support back. I said no and she threatened me with legal actions. I called her bluff and said sure. AITA?
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    Yall_w.22 hr. ago Your mom is hella toxic. I know it's easy for me to say, but you should really think about your relationship with her. From where I'm from, since you have a join account with
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    her and you were the one spending the money (which, if they do an investigation, they probably can trace who spent the money..) you'll be the one who needs to repay.
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    Cut the joint account and set serious boundaries/reconsider your relationship with your mom. You don't deserve to be treated like this or have these problems. Not the ahole, but imo, if you don't help yourself regarding your mom, still not the ahole, but deserve the problems that follows. IMO
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    AmatuerArtists OP. 21 hr. ago Thank you for the heads up! I did take away her access to my account once i got back to Maryland since she won't willingly sign the papers to relinquish her part of the joint account.
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    guardlamamama · 22 hr. ago | Aficionado [12] NTA - She wanted you to use the money, she has been spending your money, and the check should have gone to her if it was owed to her. Close that joint account and get an account without her on it so you can manage your own money without her stealing from you.
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    ConfidentSun9592 · 22 hr. ago Enthusiast [8] NTA. Unless the courts are coming after you for the money, it doesn't sound like you should have to pay back anything. If I was her and wasn't sure if the money would get to stay, I wouldn't have given you the check in the first place.
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    AmatuerArtists OP. 21 hr. ago Agreed! Prior, I would receive $245/m, which is safe and court ordered. This check, I was telling her maybe not to cash it or if we do cash it, to store the money elsewhere (preferably the account connected to the
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    child support). She promised that this check was different. I was skeptical, but I was moving, and the cost to move my car and fly with my cat was about $1k.
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    Live_Carpet6396 · 14 hr. ago Is it really CSS that's asking for the money back? Did your mom show you a letter form them? Or did you get a call? Bc the cynic in me is wondering if she's just "saying" CSS wants the money back bc she wants what you spent. Hard to believe CSs would screw up like that. And multiple times.
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    AmatuerArtists OP. 14 hr. ago I might look into it because looking back...I'm not sure if any government mail would have the envelopes in color... same for their forms... and if anything, why did she take the paper? All I can do is wait for that part. But I can begin printing statements before Saturday.
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    milkdudsnotd s 14 hr. ago • Actually, government agencies (or at least. some) DO send official mail in colored envelopes. The office of Records and Vital Statistics in Kansas uses green envelopes for important documents.
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    AmatuerArtists OP. 13 hr. ago Do they write on the envelope or type it? I'm asking because I am suspecting something after replying for hours...
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    milkdudsnotd s. 13 hr. ago Printed, with one of those plastic windows where the address is printed on a piece of paper placed inside. I was receiving a certified copy of divorce, which is very different from what was (allegedly) sent to your mom.
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    AmatuerArtists OP 13 hr. ago Then there was foul play. This one had the DHS envelope in color and it was handwritten.
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    alilacwood 13 hr. ago I'm very confused. If you were living in Florida, why did you move back in with your mother?
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    AmatuerArtists OP. 13 hr. ago Couldn't afford to stay. I had roommates, and I could find one in time. I was also homesick, and the goal was to just stay with a friend for a short time as I had an apartment hunt and started working again. It fell through. My mom played modeled host for a few days and went back to how she acts.
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    mdthomas 22 hr. ago Sultan of Sphincter [653] Child support doesn't go to the child. It goes to the parent. This sounds like a mess even if she is required to pay it back. Her debts are not your obligation. NTA

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